I have continued that legacy. Who needs tears when there are donuts to be had? Only by peeling back the layers of pain, she said, could I get to the real emptiness that I needed to feed -- that part of me that doesn't believe I deserve the blessed life I have with a career, family and friends that I adore. The number of diets I've started and stopped is not even worth mentioning here because in the end I always go fleeing back to my first love: Find out what's happening in the world as it unfolds.
More of my money has been spent dining in good restaurants and buying groceries than some people make in a year.
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But it has done little to assuage the fact that for all of my outgoingness and sunny manner, I do not love myself enough. Tough day at work? Who needs tears when there are donuts to be had? I was in my kitchen, waiting for dinner to be ready when I read this passage and broke down sobbing: Most days we are going to want to quit, but we can't because the stakes are too high and there is so much more waiting for us than we have allowed for ourselves. Would my more attractive girlfriends like me as much if I were "on their level?