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Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job: You need to have cookies enabled to sign in. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. Your secret family recipe is illegal. On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor. In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

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Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. I'm the one who wears the trousers in this relationship. You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree. You have a Hefty bag for the passenger-side window of your car. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem. You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored. It only has one room available.

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